Are You Ready to Experience Slowjamastan?

Declaring Independence

On December 1st, 2021, a new nation was born: Welcome to Slowjamastan. Founded by my best friend, Randy Williams, who serves as the Sultan, this unique and quirky country has captured the hearts and imaginations of people worldwide. Located 90 miles south of Palm Springs, CA, between Indio and El Centro, Slowjamastan is more than just a declaration of independence; it’s a celebration of satire, positivity, and community.

Meet the Team: The Chief Border Patrol Agent

In Slowjamastan, I proudly serve as the Chief Border Patrol Agent. Like any country, we take our security and services seriously. Our emergency services include a police car, fire truck, and border patrol truck. But our approach is always infused with a sense of humor and a commitment to making people smile.

A Growing Community

Slowjamastan boasts over 20,000 citizens. We have our own passports and currency, known as the Duble. I even have my own challenge coin, which I’ve exchanged with numerous U.S. government agencies, adding to our country’s charm and credibility.

International Recognition

The key to our country was given to the mayor of El Centro, and the U.S. Border Patrol keeps a close eye on us as they are located just a couple of miles away. Our claim to fame was bolstered when CNN first broke the news about Slowjamastan, instantly granting us celebrity status. Since then, we have continued to receive media coverage, spreading our message of fun and positivity.

The Culture of Slowjamastan

Our official language is English, spoken with what we call a General Foreign Accent (GFA). The unique cultural quirks of Slowjamastan are part of its charm. For instance, our number one law is NO Crocs, and you must know how to eat string cheese properly. We also do not allow nasty, dirty feet on the dashboard. Interestingly, speeding is allowed but only if you have tacos in the car because, after all, what’s fun about soggy tacos?

The Porder Batrol: First Line of Defense

As the Chief Border Patrol Agent, my primary responsibility is retention – to keep people in, not out. This reflects Slowjamastan’s focus on community and belonging. Our border patrol is the first line of defense, ensuring that the spirit and satire of our nation remain intact.

What Does All This Have to Do with Retention?

Everything! Slowjamastan is also a business, much like yours. We face similar challenges and have devised creative solutions to overcome them. Our emphasis on retention, whether it’s keeping citizens engaged or ensuring our cultural practices are upheld, mirrors the challenges businesses face in retaining customers and maintaining a loyal following.

Join the Fun: Book Chief Border Agent Mark Corona

Are you interested in bringing the spirit of Slowjamastan to your next event? Book my alter ego, Chief Border Agent Mark Corona, for an experience that’s sure to entertain and inspire. Contact me to learn more about how we can bring a touch of Slowjamastan’s unique charm and retention strategies to your audience.

Slowjamastan isn’t just a nation; it’s a vibrant community that thrives on creativity, humor, and positive engagement. By focusing on retention and creating a sense of belonging, we’ve built a nation that people love to be part of. Just like in business, these principles can lead to success and satisfaction. Join us in celebrating what makes Slowjamastan special!